I write this for posterity and also because my two-year-old daughter is pretty hilarious. At least my hubby and I think so. Here are some of the creative liberties she took:

  • sleep = feep
  • nap = nack
  • macaroni (somehow) = porky pies
  • cookie = coco
  • daddy = daddy-youie, daddy-you-wee-wee, or daddy-wee-wee-wee-wee
  • swim diapers = (get this) fwindicide…fwindicide (it’s my best attempt to spell it…)
  • cupcakes = crab cakes
  • pancakes = butt cakes
  • frog and fork are BOTH pronounced “f*ck” …I hope this changes before school
  • her own name is pronounced “Gackie”
  • hockey sticks = hockey dicks
  • stop = dhaaaap
  • Christmas lights = kwindy yights
  • her brother Mark was originally called “narc” and is now “mah-kee”
  • all juice is called “appy goose”
  • walks are called “fun-shoe-walks”

However! She can flawlessly say “what’s up, homie” and “you do you”.

There are probably a billion more, but these are some of my favourite gems.


2 thoughts on “My Two-Year-Old’s Lexicon

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