Where do I even begin.
My daughter loves Paw Patrol. I could be worse, I realize that. It could be Calliou.
But when you have to endure children’s programing for a significant amount of the week, it can bring out the crazy. I just need to get this off my chest. So. In no particular order, here are all my issues with Paw Patrol.
~Where does a ten-year-old (orphan?) boy get the money to own a lookout, paw patroller, and air patroller? Why does he live alone with a pack of stray dogs? And why has no one in the town found this concerning?
~Mayor Goodway is – by far – the worst part of the show. Who keeps voting for her? She’s maybe the only politician who would make me consider Trump if it came down to the two of them. She’s THAT useless. The only way the show could redeem itself is if she heedlessly ate a chicken dinner only to learn that…well…RIP Chickaletta.
~Marshall is a liability.
~When all the pups got jet packs, it made Skye inessential, so she should have been fired.
~Why are the pups not allowed to sleep inside? And if the pup houses are big and cavernous, where are all the gadgets that pop out when they jump into action?
~I’m okay with Jake because he’s clearly baked all the time, and that adds a new dimension to the show. However, Everest is annoying because she’s too high on life.
~I’m not a fan of Tracker, either, because he was obviously introduced for merchandising purposes, and you already took enough of my mother flippin’ money at Christmas, Paw Patrol.
~The negative cat stereotypes are strong and I’m a cat person.
~Why do Marshall’s water cannons have an infinite supply of water and no source?
~I notice they don’t let Ryder drive the bus because he’s a small child, but is a robot dog a better alternative?
~Yes, Ryder is an enabler, but the adults of Adventure Bay should be ashamed of themselves. I’M saying this, and I’m barely even an adult somedays.
Anyway, there you have it. Feel free to contribute more if you’d like. I feel a weight lifted, so thanks for listening.
Now. Excuse me while I go and catch up on The Bachelor because I’m a grown up, and I like my TV to be both realistic and relatable.