Annika is currently brushing Mark’s barely-there hair with the vacuum brush attachment. She’s being fairly gentle though, so I’m gonna sit back and see how this plays out. If I stopped ALL the insane things she did, it would take up 100% of my day.

I was in the mood to write a silly post, but once again I had little bits and pieces of ideas floating around my head and I couldn’t really settle on one thing. So I decided I’m going to do another instalment of “My Week In Thoughts”…as the title suggests.

Much like before, this is just a bullet list of the random things that cross my mind in a week as a SAHM. Hopefully a person or two will find them amusing or comforting.

Without further ado, my week in thoughts:

~If you’re on the fence about having kids, here’s an example of daily life that could help inform your decision: I gave Annika a clementine with breakfast, and she deemed four of the nine segments disgusting (but ate the other five). She then left the inedible pieces in a pile on the messy rug for me to step on at my leisure. Which I did. And I thought I killed a frog. These sort of situations are endless…

~I feel like coconuts, raisins and white chocolate are in a competition to see who can ruin the most desserts. It’s depressing.

~I’ve broken a lot of the vows I made pre-kids about what I would/wouldn’t do (like TV time…I had considered no TV time…they definitely get TV time.) However, the one vow I’m still adamant about is that I will never give (or let Mark get) a hipster hair cut..so long as I’m still in charge of his hair. When he’s old enough to make that decision for himself…I’ll just try my best to point him in the non-hipster direction.

~Everything that makes food amazing is being replaced by zucchini and it’s not okay. People need to stop acting like this is an equivalent to much superior ingredients. I keep watching delicious looking videos only to realize that there’s a zucchini substitute. Life is too short to replace spaghetti and lasagna noodles, and to infect brownies with your “healthy alternatives”. JUST STOP. If I want to eat zucchini (and I do like it as a side veggie) then I will cook and eat zucchini. But if I want a frigging lasagna…it better contain legitimate noodles.

~I may as well keep this filthy shirt on because now it’s a competition between the wine stains and the baby barf stains to see which can become more abundant. Edit: I just added soup stains into the match, too.

~Mug cakes are a dangerous path to do down…

~Two-year-olds have this incredible ability to react as if every night is the first night of their lives where they’ve being asked to go to bed. They act as if they’ve NEVER encountered this scenario before, and it’s a travesty beyond measure. The shock, awe and despair are something else. At what point in our lives do we suddenly see bedtime as the glorious, glorious thing that is it?

~I spend far too much time asking myself “why is this wet?”

~Everyone in my life it worried about Annika’s toes getting cold because she refuses to keep her socks on. It’s just weird to me because I’ve never heard of a child dying from chilly feet. I’m pretty sure the worst case scenario would be mild discomfort, and believe me…she lets us know when she’s in mild discomfort.

~I got an allergic reaction to lip gloss this week, and it made me realize that sometimes there are much easier and cheaper alternatives to cosmetic surgeries. And also, Kylie Jenner can eat her heart out.

~I demoted pee from the category of “gross” to just “meh”. Barf, snot and poop are so much grosser that pee no longer fazes me. I have a hard time classifying it as icky when it’s such a constant in life. “Oh I got peed on again? That happens. Anyway, let’s not skip a beat talking about this Bachelor finale…”

~I could spend YEARS watching people frost things on youtube. Cookies, cakes, bicycles, lizards, toilets, I don’t care. It’s all good. Frost away.

Well, there you have it. That kind of sums things up. Today is my St. Paddy’s Day birthday, so I’m off to drink myself stupid. Just kidding. I’m sick as a dog and so is the toddler (snot…omg, SO much snot). So I’m gonna eat cake in bed, and put showering off for a few more days. Hope everyone else is enjoying those green beers! Cheers!

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